Thursday, May 21, 2009

things i don't understand

  1. girls who take group photos EVERY TIME they are together.
  2. uggs
  3. the mentality/fashion retardation of a girl who wears shorts AND uggs
  4. why my dvd player turns itself on & pops open
  5. the appeal of young, stupid women. ok, actually, i think i get it —but i think it's gross and an embarrassing sign of weakness in men — therefore i don't understand why THEY don't see it/care. i'd be mortified.
i suppose there is more, but these are the things on my mind right now.

Monday, May 11, 2009

i dedicate my first kidney failure to all the fine men

who have found fault with me gaining (at most) 15 pounds this past year — most notably, it seems, in my ass. i’m sorry my physique can no longer hold up next to 22 year old strippers. i apologize profusely that stress, unhappiness and a years worth of horrible sleeping and eating habits FINALLY caught up with my 37 year old body.

how fucking presumptuous of me to think that after 2+ decades of pigs like you telling me my 5’8”/115 pound, anorexic, coke fueled body was ‘too big’ i could finally take a break from it all and just live like a normal person. it makes me sick to my stomach when i think that not one of you has any idea what it took for me to get to this point & you destroyed it with a few callous, thoughtless comments.

it says a lot about the male mentality that not one of you ever thought for a fucking second that maybe YOU were the ones who were fucked up for thinking there was something wrong with ME just because at 37 i don’t mirror the repugnant, stupid, 25 year old day time stripper cocktail waitress/whores you find so fucking attractive.

i’m hurt, i’m humiliated and most importantly — i’m pissed as fuck.
i can’t think of a single one of you that has an inch of ground to stand on when finding fault with MY body. take a fucking look in the mirror boys — i don’t believe johnny depp is looking back at any of you, is he?

fuck you all — you superficial, shallow, insensitive pieces of shit.

i will lose that fucking 15 pounds out of pure spite and you can all kiss my bony ass when my heart stops because i was terrified i would lose my boyfriend to some whore again because i dared to eat that piece of cake that has been denied to me my entire god damn life.