Friday, September 26, 2008

an open letter to the person responsible for the AT&T banner ads

this is the best you've been able to muster?

the concept itself isn't horrible. it's not going to win any awards for breakthrough profundity in design history but for your typical web 2.0 banner ad hawking tech gadgetry it's just like everyone else's crap. oddly enough, in advertising that is usually exactly what the client wants — especially if they tell you they want something 'new and different, something to set them apart from everyone else.'

'blah, blah, blah... yeah whatever — so what you're really saying is that what you want is a variation on whatever MAC is doing right now. got it.'

easy peasy.

with that said, i must move on to your execution, which is poor at best and i must confess to being a bit surprised that a client as large as AT&T would let something like these babies slip through the cracks. not only are they a billion dollar corporation who can afford to drop a few bucks into advertising... THEY HAVE. to the best of my knowledge BBDO is their current agency of record and with a budget of nearly $4 million.

so why may i ask does one of the foremost communications conglomerates in the world have a MISSPELLING in their copy?

"prices staring at free"

really.... of the 307,550 employees at AT&T and 17,200 at BBDO world wide there wasn't ANYONE available who could proof read these? tsk, tsk, tsk.

that gross oversight aside - the inconsistency between the suite of ads, the complete lack of attention when it came to kerning and leading, the random abbreviations of words which should not be abbreviated and the "higgledy-piggledy stick it where it fits & if it doesn't fit change the size... who cares if it's their corporate branding!" half-assed-ness of the layout screams 'intern on the C team'.

i wasn't aware BBDO had a "C team". they are after all one of the largest advertising agencies on the planet who historically speaking has been a part of every contemporary design and advertising movement. not only are they an agency one usually expects breakthrough profundity (though not on the same par as saatchi and saatchi of course) they are one of the agencies i dreamed of working at when i was a little girl.

so really..

"prices staring at free"

give me a fucking break... and while you're at it... pay attention to your use of white space because it fucking BLOWS. nice margins assholes.

OH THE AGONY!! i present to you AT&T's oh-so-effective web advertising:

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

shame is the best cleaning agent ever

for months i have been droning on & on about the state of my apartment. it's too small, i have too much crap and too little storage... and too much crap. i am a keeper of things great and small, mundane and esoteric, useful and potentially hazardous.

i started working shortly after moving and had little time to fulfill my laundering needs on a weekly basis much less unpack & organize a house worth of crap into an apartments worth of space... so it sat, and it piled up and occasionally came tumbling down — where it would sit and still sits. it drove me crazy but i pacified the feelings of anxiety & nervousness every time i walked through my living room with the thought that 'once i'm done working i'll have plenty of time to take care of this.'

well, i've been done working for going on two weeks now. the first was spent sleeping and i make no excuses for that — i had 3+ months worth of deprivation to make up for. but more recently — though i have been picking away at it — i have to say, i'm not as far along as i should be. in fact, i think while sorting through boxes and bins i made more of a mess.

which is exactly the state my apartment was in when my friend brandon came to visit last sunday. now up until this point my apartment has been strictly off limits to everyone. i didn't even spend much time there. but brandon has been witness to my crazy lady living quarters for years and he sort of revels in my debauchery so i was like 'oh fine, fuck it — come in.' followed by a 1000 excuses as to why my house looked like an insane asylum factory that had just experienced several natural disasters. (shit, i should have blamed it all on the earthquake — "yeah hermosa got hit HARD, would you look at this place?!")

but it was his exclamation of 'oh my god you are totally insane — i love it. this place is perfect.' as he walked through the front door that made my heart flutter with dread and realize it was time get my ass in gear.

so i have been diligently putting up shelves, sorting boxes and shifting things back and forth — but i fear i haven't made as much headway as i would like. it still looks like insanity's dumping ground and short of cutting through the roof and making my own storage i am out of room.

why can't i be one of those people with extra rooms devoted to oddities and random bits of junk they can't bear to part with but don't necessarily want on display in their living room. it's so frustrating when people are like 'oh you must have an amazing apartment, you're so good at that sort of thing' & i have to honestly reply 'actually, i can't let anyone in my apartment because it's dangerous and there's a good chance i could be legally committed if anyone ever saw the squaller in which i am currently living.

maybe by the end of the week i will be a little closer to the wearstler vision in my head. of course that would require much more than packing away a few odd prosthetic limbs and taxidermy bits... but one must have goals.

and i have been shamed into mine.